acidtears-.blogspot.com: The Best Damn Thing.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

TESTING.
blogger has been down on my computer for some reason. so while everyone else is busy watching korean dramas, i'm busy getting engrossed in anime. i never thought i'd like it, never in a million years. oh and i still dont know the difference btw manga and anime so lets not bother with the technicalities. so far, only been watching deathnote anime and parts of battle royale which is really sadistic and scary. i dont know if i dare to continue watching, the book was bad enough. But the real movie (Deathnote) is still better than the anime, so do watch it! of course, have still been doing my korean homework, mostly on youknowwho=) more later. on to apprentice.

remind me not to neglect good old books, will refrain from anime soon. on to manga. must try to understand wuthering heights first gosh, what weird combinations. but all of them have this similar foreboding theme of death, which is pretty morbid.

--

Waiting..waiting. okay today is going to rock. Anime+ecp+truth&dare+movies=FUN!

6:24 AM

Friday, October 27, 2006

Today was the last day of school. No tears or hugs were shed or
exchanged. So, it wasn't really sad, but today was a day of poignant
memories, mostly bacause of Mdm Mak's farewell. I don't know her well,
but I can tell that she is a genuinely caring principal, who does not
restrict herself to conforming rigidly to past school traditions. She
seems to be a warm person, and it will be sad to lose such an
admirable principal as her. Farewell, dear Prinicipal!

I heard a bit of news that I found extremely surprising. Either I am
always completely in the dark about everything, or I just don't pay
enough attention to detail. It made me appreciate my class more and
realise how much I admire it. I recall, back at the beginning of the
year, when I was really pessimistic about being in this class.
Everyone seemed to be smart and perfectionists, or highly talented in
several areas. It was and is hard not to feel inferior in a class like
mine. In all honesty, this class is the MOST creative, intelligent,
talented, impassioned, outspoken class I've ever been in. I don't feel
terribly close to it, i do still prefer my old class. No offence
meant, but it feels quite demmoralising sometimes when you aren't as
outspoken as most other people. But, of course, there will always be
people who are like you, and to these people I am most grateful to. I
do like 307 and admire it more than any class I've been in, and I hope
to get to know those I don't really know better, will probably try and
be more outspoken next year.

This will be a rare post where I mention several friends. It seems
only appropriate to be appreciative of friends and people who have
helped, in some way or another. Thanks to 307 for making me realise a
lot of things, it's been great learning life lessons with you guys.
Especially Kewei for being a fantastic funny friend whom shares a lot
of similar interests with me, Baihui for being a witty, sarcastic desk
partner whom will owe me lots of money, Twins for introducing me to
writing fics!, Jolynn for being a cool,quirky class and CCA mate,
Steffi for being an inspring and humble friend, Elizabeth for being
someone I can talk to, Florence for the infectious laughter, Heather
for amusing us with your exam exasperation, HuiQi for being a
meticulous and wonderful monitress, Beni for being a fun and
self-professed 'cute' Lit mate, Aileen for being a weird ex-desk
partner who likes Avril too and EVERYONE ELSE IN 307!!!!!!!!!!2006 has
been a fun year, thanks to your witty mannerisms, a truly
unforgettable year.

Fortunately, I have managed to remain in close contact with my
ex-classmates too. Thanks especially to the people who celebrated
Avril's birthday with me this year like the good ole times, Yanne for
being an extremely amusing person to talk to about stuff and
teachers:), Valerie for being a fun person to tease and inspiring me
to beat your ass at guitar, Terri for being Terri-ish and recommending
Deathnote, Jamie for helping me with Math and interesting
conversations about teachers, Grace for lending me your Kino Card
always, Sheryl for writing hilarious stuff on her blog, Lisyn for
remembering, Tricia for being hardworking(?) and EVERYONE ELSE IN
201'05!!!!!

And obviously, my batchmates! Well some of you know how unenthusiastic
I was about guides (i still have sucky skills and stuff), but you all
really accepted me when I came in at Sec 2. For having no qualms, and
allowing me equal opportunities, thanks lots! Would especially like to
thank Ming Pok for being a polar opposite and someone who laughs at my
unfunny jokes, Valerieeee again for giving me that idea about L, Cloud
for being really slackish and hilarious and totally nonsensical and
sharing your cookie with me, Jolynn again for providing scaffolding
during that nerve-wrecking period, SHAOWIN for dating edwin coz it
cracks us up, Huimin for being an interesting car pooler and EVERYONE
ELSE IN OUR BATCH! all of you are a competent bunch, so don't worry
too much!

Although they'll probably never see this, I thank my parents the most.
I am a very temperamental person, probably as a result of being an
only child (i'm not spolit though!) Hrmph except my Dad is very mean
sometimes and teases me a lot, but Thanks to both you guys for
creating me, and bringing me into this intriguing though quite screwed
up world. Thanks for tolerating me!

Now, my hands are really tired.
Learn to appreciate the diversities of others and embrace them,
instead of focusing on the blind spots.
OMG, in a very cliche, cheesy, un-kyna mood now. sorry for the
emotional outpouring of thanks. don't worry, im not one of those
people who will go crying as I have a very cold, unemotional heart and
am not used to this kind of gratitude. But I do appreciate all the
nice people around me!

6:55 AM

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'm back! One more day till school's out, can't wait! But then again, I also have Lit, IH and Chi SIA to start on.

The holiday was pretty boring, not going to go into detail.

Except that I watched a movie, Deathnote!:D I dare say it is one of the coolest movies i have watched thus far. Japanese+slightly droolworthy actors+complicated plot+God of Death+eccentric L+complexity of Light= Fantastic movie! I'd give it 4.5 stars!From now on, i shall trust Terri's taste. & i will go find the manga and fics on it! Part 2- the Last Name is coming out this Dec, so i'll have to watch that too. Anyone who hasn't watched Deathnote, go catch it, it is really really really worth the money. In case anyone has something against manga (i used to dislike it), it's not even manga-y and even if it was, manga is quite cool too.I must go and buy the deathnote notebook and voodoo people who are mean to me. So watch your back!
Why are all Japanese stuff so cool? Like Battle Royale and Deathnote!

It feels weird not to be in school for three days. But i certainly don't miss it.

Me: Hey, wanna read my story?
Mum: What's it about?
Me: Lesbians, okay sort of bisexuals.
Mum: What!People are going to think you are one yourself!

It's times like these when you feel accomplished , even if you know it isn't going to lead you anywhere. Must do things for self-satisfaction sometimes.

Must convince my mum that there is nothing wrong with lesbians. Though it would be interesting to kid my parents and see their reaction!

My work has been abandoned. Better go start on them. I have one whole chinese compo and Math stuff to learn. Even though the holidays have not yet begun and 2 months seems endless, you'll be surprised at how busy we are and how fast time flies.

Just updated the spine and avrilhistory. all the joint blogs are so dead.

testing

11:22 PM

Friday, October 20, 2006

great, i do not understand the binomial theorem at all. i know i am going to die for calculus and whatever we're learning next year.

yay on to chapter 3. must say i have gained my inspiration after having read some books. still, i have no idea how the minds of lesbians work, so it will sound extremely amateurish. ohwell first stories are never really great right. have requested the editing skills of fic master classmate:)

watched some korean dramas and i am disappointed with their lack of creativity. i tell you, most of them have the same storyline. basically, boy and girl are forced to live together/co-exist in harmony, of course, their personalities clash and they hate each other. after all the teasing and hating, they realise that they are MADE for each other and live happily ever after. problem resolved. it's quite boring after a while. don't know why everyone is crazy about princess hours. i mean, it's quite entertaining but so cliche. an exception is da chang jin, though, at least it's more ... unloveydovey.

bon voyage to my friends leaving on eoy trips, and to dear baka who's going away to china!

5:35 AM

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

After reading people’s blogs, I suddenly feel enlightened. To be honest, I really should not be complaining about my overall average even though I still feel slightly sad that it could have been better. You know how almost everyone goes that they could have done better after doing an exam. Well, it’s just too bad, coz that’s the grade you received and you might as well face up to it.

Somehow, I have managed to come to terms with my LA grades. I am wistfully hanging onto the illusion (?) that results do not equal to real ability, as my nice friends keep comforting me with. Of course, that is not a very valid excuse to alleviate the devastation I faced , but now I am just mildly dissatisfied, which is a huge improvement. Then again, I never professed to be good at it, it was just that I thought and still hope to do well for it as in the past.

I agree with what Sheryl said. It IS depressing to know you can never beat the people over there in the top class. Sure, they excel academically and most of them deserve it for working their butts off. Thankfully, I have learnt that this does not necessarily equal to greater opportunities in life in the future or being extremely intelligent. Even read somewhere in Jamie’s blog that people with good results don’t have a purpose in life. That is a bit extreme, I don’t think it is true, but it goes to show that good results don’t prove anything. So we should stop thinking that we are superior to anyone in some neighbourhood school.

Actually, I should be quite sad at this point. My results are not fantastic, and neither do I have much talent in areas not relating to school. I used to, but all of them are mere ghosts of the past. This is why I have resolved not to focus sooo much on studies ( I admit that I worked hard this year, and look where it brought me) . Life is short, we should use it to enrich ourselves with other things that we have passions for.

That is why, I feel really angry when I see people who are obviously very talented (in other areas) get so het up over results. Perhaps it is the perception that exams and marks are more important. Come on, if you are good at sports/singing/writing etcetc, why be glum over something so transcient and not very significant as marks?! & to think these people get pissed at others because they do well…

These people who excel at things besides academics are truly the ones who should be proud of themselves! In my opinion, anyone can be good at academics, if they try hard enough. (some brains would come in handy, too) There’s nothing great about being fantastic at academics. Even though you are more likely to get into some renowned university, what’s the point? Really, why go be so kiasu like certain people, omg like one mark is a matter of life and death!

I don’t think they do it on purpose, but when I saw the snobby looks on their faces today, I felt like going up to them and slapping them. You think you’re so wonderful at everything? Try being perceptive to the feelings of others around you, just for once. That isn’t very much to ask right?

I know that people should not be blamed or despised for being “smart”, but it is factually demoralizing when elitist groups get all the credit. Anyway, I don’t think it has anything whatsoever to do with being smart.

I was quite angry with you for doing that. Flaunting your marks, as if they were a gift from above. I know your real intentions, even though you masked them so seamlessly. But, thank you sincerely, for making me realise how academic-oriented I was, just like you are. It’s just sad that you haven’t and will not realise it. I do hope that you will one day.

This post is highly contradictory, but why should I edit it? Contradicting yourself is viewed as something taboo or wrong, but sometimes we just think that way. Isn’t it human nature to experience feelings of irony?

Anyway, all this has made me realise a very important thing. I cannot emphasise the significance and happiness I have with the choice I had made this time last year. I remember how I was fretting over my subject combination, even consulting teachers for help. As if they knew me well enough to answer that. It was a good choice in the end, as I chose something which I preferred (although I dare not declare my passion for it as it’s not something I feel a great connection with yet) and I am quite sure I would have done better if I had chosen physics. Because I would have studied hard and I have a dad who can help me. I want to just sideline a bit and mention that the reason I did well for Math was because he helped me by answering my incessant queries. Yep there you have it, Kyna is NOT good at Math, she just has a dad who is good at it and can help her. This is why anyone who has help academically will probably do pretty well and this has NOTHING to do with their intelligence.

Back to where I was. Someone made me realise that it’s not about the marks that you get for a random subject that is important, like is it’s high compared to my lower mark for humanities. Thanks to another person ( I censor the name to protect the innocent), who enlightened me about humanities being more difficult to score at that science. This cheered me up greatly, when I was feeling even more in the dumps about scoring a B3 for Lit (aha see, I actually used to be sensitive about displaying my grades) compared to some people’s high A1s for science. They are different subjects, so they cannot be compared in terms of that. Usually, I guess humanities like history are much harder to score in, which is why I admire History people all the more for taking the risk to discover what they love <3

By no means am I saying that Science people have it easy, because Science requires much brain juice and the ability to think, I’m just citing that as an example to highlight how it is more important to pick something you have genuine interest in that will enrich your mind in the long run than something else just because you don’t know what else to pick, or for a lame reason.

This must be the longest post, I have many people to thank for their insightful opinions which really completely changed my mindset on academic stuff. No longer do I feel compelled to cry or throw a tantrum when my marks are the pits. In fact, I feel more happy at having made the right choice that makes me happy and brings a tiny smile to my face, in spite of the not so pleasant marks I may receive.

9:36 PM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

THE END is out!for those deprived people, the end is the last book in the series of unfortunate events!unfortunately, i only managed to read up to page 108 in slightly less than an hour? i'm a really slow reader. hmm la comments sound quite scary, but don't worry, yanne and jamie! both of you are very philosophical and profound people, so u will do well!i just hope their expectations are not really too high, after all we are only high school people and we do not have that profound thoughts.

went out with baka, and we looked like the weirdest pair ever. she with her weird nearly backless blouse and tiny skirt (claiming it showed off her nice ~~stubby~~ legs. oh and i just found out that i dress like a boy. how flattering. i realise how stupid i have been. if you add up all the money i spend on food/accessories/random weird stuff i buy on the spur of the moment, it is actually more than enough to buy me a decent paperback. i will refrain from shopping as often as possible and save up to buy books:D the us trip has been changed to UK , or are both still on? i am in a dilemma. us= fantastic shopping ( may even get to pass by the trl studio-gasps, but uk= better literary writers (there's all those poet people we studied in lit and i heard grasmere has stunning scenery). argh so how! think i will go to uk as i have been to us already and there is really nothing special about it.

anyway since i promised baka to blog, erm we bought matching jean chains and had a fun time ! thanks for the cool skull slippers,baka!:D yay project runway tonight! i love guy fashion designers, they're so eccentric and gay!(hasty generalisation) i'm damn happy that i finished chapter 1:)

going to jb tomorrow. laksa awaits me!

3:39 AM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

POST EXAM/HOLIDAY RESOLUTIONS/PLANS LIST:
- read finish those 18 books!
- go out with 307 people
- go out with 201 people !
- finish updating iPod- did i mention how i idiotically wiped out all my songs one fine day?
- ice-skating with baka
- hire shaowin's teacher
- LIT SIA omg dead.
- IH SIA dead-er.
- SLEEPOVERS! hrm this will be a tough one.
- guitar classes with shaowin's teacher! & must not quit.
- buy skateboard and not twist my ankle on it!
- phantom of the opera!!!!
- finish zephyr's epiphany ( stop giggling, rachel l.)
- inspiration for vampire story
- SURVIVE STANDFORD.
- survive guide's election ( why is my cca the only one which has a public election, in front of all the juniors!)
- enjoy holiday;)

life is sad. i am rotting away at home on the internet. my life has been reduced toeat.egest.excrete.sleep.food.tv.music.book. tada! what a brilliant and fascinating life i lead.

sudden fascination with vampires:) shall go read up on them.

2:08 AM

Monday, October 09, 2006

SWEET LIBERATION!thanks very much to the people who poked/insulted/scowled at me. sour grapes.

went out with kewei, jolynn, baihui, rachels, steffi-san, florence and eliz. we were segregated coz twins+baihui went to look for jap stuff (i think?). florence was coerced into watching the lame chick flick, john tucker must die. the g-strings thing was quite funny, florence and kewei were almost writhing on the floor laughing. ok fine, me too.

steffisan persuaded me not to get wuthering heights and to wait till discount period. omg my name in japanese sounds and looks so adorable. like symmetrical characters. kino is evil, displaying all those lovely glossy books , yet pricing them so exorbitantly. i've set my sight on several books already and i am gonna get them by hook or crook. there's a new morris albom book!!! ok there's nothing that great about his books, but they are quite inspirational and easy to understand, which is always helpful for dense people like me. jolynn and i were gagaing over it, but it was too expensive. boohoos. ahh the last installment of the unfortunate series is coming out soon, very aptly titled the end. can't wait to find out the ending. found that nice vampire book but again.. i am broke.

i have decided to make watching mindless reality tv my priority, to obliterate the examination data from my poor, tortured brain. i shall start reading my books too. somewhere at the very back of my mind there is a little voice going lit sia...ih sia...nyaa... WHO CARES!

6:25 AM

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

EXAMS! ah okay today's paper was quite bad. biology. hmm thought i studied enough for it- i actually revised like 4 times i think but it did not help much. resigned to my fate of getting red marks scrawled all over the paper. maybe i do need to go back for bio tuition. the mcq was disastrous- well but i can't say for sure whether other's answers are correct. still, i am dead for the paper. the end.

the previous papers were okay ;) this year, i think my birthday luck worked its charms a bit. for la and chinese, i managed to regurgitate model compos even though i still think the english one is a bit out of point. and math and ih were okay, except i think the ih teacher will be angry that i called the hypothesis "preposterous". sigh anyway after jamie's chiding, i do feel a bit sad at having to resort to copying an english compo, goodness, i'd be condemned by mr william blake if he knew (and if he were still alive). i have no creativity boohoo. but that will be relinquished once baihui draws my characters for me:D

anyway i had quite a nice little party with the neighbours' babies. thanks to the people who remembered! those who owe me presents better get them after exams, thankyouverymuch. heh just kidding! argh i realise how sad it is having it during the exams:( but still, after the exams, i am definitely going on a huge shopping spree with my money. yay on monday i am going with kewei, fluffy, jolynn to watch 2 movies! which reminds me, i havent seen much of baihui and loke, the lovebirds recently. hope they are still asexual.

LIT TMR!!!argh it's really do or die. hrm i think it should be manageable, but then again there must be a reason why it's called ADVANCED lit. hrmph. a poem and prose ok breathe you can do it. hrm nothing much to study for it and i don't wanna start on math. which is why i am here, going against my promise. ok fine i shall go read up on some literary devices.

11:05 PM